achyllesthewarrior: cabaaal: achyllesthewarrior: cabaaal: alldelightedpeople: i’m doing that thing where you’re in a random city and you’re supposed to look for the airport without any help and i found this by the highway a chicken literally crossing the road I guess I’ve been in Guam too long to realize that this must not be a common occurrence in other places. This is the same place where a chicken landed on my roof and tried to fly in my car window IN THE DRIVE THRU OF MOTHERFUCKING MCDONALDS.  I swear your life is like some insane sitcom. these things are not supposed to happen in real life. I had scratches on my arm for the longest time. It was pretty much the most stressful moment of my life. Whatever sitcom this is fucking sucks and there’s not nearly enough sex to keep the ratings up. dude, the chicken cut you! wow you have terrible luck. Also, I can send you a fleshlight or a buttplug if you think that might get the ratings up. only if it’s the one with the real horse tail that they have on etsy. that is the only one i will accept. View high resolution

achyllesthewarrior:

cabaaal:

achyllesthewarrior:

cabaaal:

alldelightedpeople:

i’m doing that thing where you’re in a random city and you’re supposed to look for the airport without any help and i found this by the highway

a chicken literally crossing the road

I guess I’ve been in Guam too long to realize that this must not be a common occurrence in other places. This is the same place where a chicken landed on my roof and tried to fly in my car window IN THE DRIVE THRU OF MOTHERFUCKING MCDONALDS.

 I swear your life is like some insane sitcom. these things are not supposed to happen in real life.

I had scratches on my arm for the longest time. It was pretty much the most stressful moment of my life. Whatever sitcom this is fucking sucks and there’s not nearly enough sex to keep the ratings up.

dude, the chicken cut you! wow you have terrible luck. Also, I can send you a fleshlight or a buttplug if you think that might get the ratings up.

only if it’s the one with the real horse tail that they have on etsy. that is the only one i will accept.

(Reblogged from achyllesthewarrior)

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