The Annals of a Whoremonger from Turkmenistan

Jun 03

trojan vibrators. so good, they’ll blow your hair back

(Source: search-party-animal, via iphone420)

vocaroo:

librariandominatrix:

so Raven is a lesbian and Eddie got arrested

i don’t even want to know what happened to Chelsea 

(via wwiao)

(Source: chelseawoosh, via instagrampa)

• Lilly Allen music: *happy go lucky melody with fairies in the background dancing with the angels of heaven*
• Lilly Allen lyrics: The whole world is a dark place where no will ever escape from. Just saw an old lady get raped in London, I didn't do shit, too fuckin' bad. Everyone is on drugs and doesn't care, you all need help. You hate gay people? Well fuck you. My boyfriend has a tiny penis and it's not fair. Stop FUCKING HITTING ON ME AT THE BAR JESUS CHRIST, I HAVE AIDS OKAY?? Oh, you're 29? lmfao you're life is over bitch. You better hope a man comes along to take care of you, you're not 22 anymore. Anyone want to have some Chinese food with me?

jadeita:

for everyone on tumblr

(via instagrampa)

My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard this.

• Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
• Brother: that's not fair
• Mom: DO AS I SAY.
• Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
• Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
• Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.

octopussoir-:

it’d be SUPER rad if my phone would stop autocorrecting ‘so’ to ‘do’

(via iphone420)

thepurebloodprincess:

who decides what goes on the tumblr radar

like seriously

(via wwiao)

(via wwiao)

vaginal-erection:

i can

make your

hips stir

why is he crying, he looks so upset

(via nohetero)

(Source: smoke-meth-hail-satan, via nohetero)

(Source: scunerape, via wwiao)

• one third of me: I want a boyfriend/girlfriend so much, relationships are so cute aw
• one third of me: sex sex sex I want sex fuck relationships lets be slutty lol
• one third of me: fuck everyone I hate people kill yourselves

richwhitelesbian:

Pump Up The Jam, now Deflate This Jam. Fold This Jam Up and put it in the box

(via tlyudacris)

(Source: enormouspenisproblems, via stumpythecat)