February 2012
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stumpythecat:
and then I found out, single he told me?
single my ass
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Sometimes I wish I lived on my own because I’m getting tired of conforming to everyone else’s desires and expectations. I don’t mean this in the sense that I wish I could do all the drugs and have all the sex and not have my parents yell at me, but I DO wish I could just have a place to come and relax and be myself and not worry about anything. I want a place where I don’t...
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archaeosaur:
social anxiety is when successfully ordering a pizza over the phone makes you feel like a fucking champion
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Republicans: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Republicans: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Republicans: No.
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My fucking Lord, Guam commercials are just as bad as AFN commercials. I can’t get away from the incessant shittiness.
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misskatie:
she-hulk-smash:
You know how some people have self deprecating humor? My humor involves me making lots of jokes about how amazing I am.
Except I’m not kidding.
They’re funny because they’re true.
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georgiasam:
I think of 2007 and I’m like “Yeah that was like three years ago that’s pretty recent” but then I realize
No it’s not
That was like five years ago
When did it get to be not 2010ish
What happened
claraficati0n:
may there never be a day when a presidential candidate looks nothing like an snl cast member
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