are straight boys obligated to touch the top of every door frame??

it’s actually a sacred rite similar to the passover. by marking the top of the door frame with their hand sweat, much like the jews did with the lambs’ blood, they are signifying that a heterosexual is occupying that room. this wards off the gay demons that sweep through the town at night, entering the unmarked rooms and SLAYING the occupants therein.